Never underestimate brute force!

Let no one ever say a Turtle goes back on their word… unless you happened to visit in the unfortunate period between now and November of last year, in which case I am so sorry and let’s pretend those months just slipped off into the same black hole as the pages you take joy in ripping from the daily calendar sitting on your desk and forget they ever happened. Have you forgotten? Good. Welcome to Mondays at Turtle Paradise.

If there’s one thing the three (!) releases coming to the table today have in common, it’s stuff blowing sky-high, and that’s… really about it. At least you’re not slogging through Wheel of Time and hoping for things to blow up, if only to advance the story. Humph.

mebius_07
Mebius Gear chapter 7:
“Bonds and Betrayals”

[Download | Read Online]

FREAK OUT! Despite consistently, um… flagging interest in the series, I’ll hold on to this one to my dying breath, if only for Maria’s absolute ferocity. Fortunately, it seems we were cosmically blessed to hold off on this chapter before the hiatus (read: I forgot we had it done), so this chapter drops us right into a new arc instead of picking up the pieces from some… other one. Wonderful. Edited by the fabulous Sakana-san (whose reappearance in the chatbox actually motivated me enough to pull my head out of my ass long enough to start releases again! THANK HER), typeset and translated by yours truly, and scanned and QC’d by Melfra, as always. Go bust some buildings! (We’re also looking for interested typesetters for this series, so please drop us a line if you’d like to get in on this!)

junky_16
Junketsu+Kareshi chapter 16:
“Phantom of the Pit”

[Download | Read Online]

This right here was more or less the reason for my hiatus from translating. (Well, part of it.) I churned it out, submitted it for QC, started applying the changes, and… I hated it. I suffered so much embarrassment from the script that I had to put it away for months before I could stand even looking at it long enough to overhaul the translation, and overhaul I did. I hope the care is evident and y’all enjoy it. Edited! By the dashing Egotist! (join the fanclub; you’ll never regret it!) Translated and typeset! Yours truly! And scanned and QC’d by Melfra, who slogs through her general dislike of the series because she loves you all and she’s a trooper, omg.

And last, but certainly far from least… Drum-roll, please!

seds_01
Slayers: Super Explosive Demon Story chapter 01:
“The Bomber Girl Appears!”

[Download | Read Online (Coming soon!)]

EXCUSE ME WHILE I FREAK OUT A LITTLE BIT AT THIS, AHH. AHHHH, SLAYERS! AHHH, SLAYERS! LINA INVERSE! MY QUEEN! MY GODDESS OF DESTRUCTION!
Anyway! After much hemming and hawing on the subject, we’ve finally begun work on the definitive Slayers manga, Super Explosive Demon Story! “Gee,” you might think, “these guys sure love their Slayers. I wonder how I can get in on that?” THE ANSWER IS HERE, MY FRIENDS. RIGHT HERE. If you want to read the Slayers from a manga perspective, THIS is where you start. Right here! Chapter one! Ahhhh, STILL SPAZZING. GOD, I LOVE LINA. Y’all have no idea. But anyway! This chapter was edited by Tom the Mighty, typeset by ZippyZippy, translated by yours truly, and scanned and QC’d by Melfra! GIVE THANKS, FOR SLAYERS HAS RETURNED TO TURTLE PARADISE. The read online links will be up tomorrow! Also, in the interest of preserving our usual quality, I’ve taken down our previous translation work on volume 8. It’ll take us a while to get there, of course, but I’d like to redo that volume to meet our current standards.

And that’s all for this week! I know I said we would have some oneshots ready as well, but alas, that must wait until next Monday. Perhaps we’ll have some more Shouoto as well? Ho, ho, ho. We’ll have to wait and see. Until then, see you next Monday!

It’s been almost a year, but hey, who’s countin’?

There’s a certain series we’ve been neglecting more than others recently, an arrangement I figured most of the staff seemed pretty comfortable with, until Fishiko, one of our resident editors, looked up at me with her sad, sad, fishie-eyes and said, “Reb, why don’t we do Mebius anymore?” And I, seeing those salty tears brimming in her eye-sockets didn’t have the heart to say, “Well, I didn’t think anybody liked it anymore.” So in the interest of never having Fishiko stare up at me with her sad, sad, fishie-eyes again, have some Mebius Gear. I take pride in the fact that we haven’t gone a full year without an update, so. ANYWAY.

Our last update left us off in the middle of a two-part arc, so I suggest going back and reading chapter 5 if you haven’t already. That said, enjoy! The chapter will be available on the reader only for 24 hours, after which we’ll be updating with the download file for those who prefer it that way.

Mebius Gear chapter 6: The Unseen Truth
Read Online
Download

This chapter was brought to you largely in part by Sakana-san (Fishiko <3) and her double-whammy editing and motivational skills, Melfra for QC, and yours truly pulling typesetting and translation duty. ALSO! Once again, we now have an online store in lieu of a donation button, so drop by, peruse, and see if anything catches your fancy. We’ll be adding manga from the series we do pretty soon as well, so we’re gonna need a good buffer to work off from the coffers. (Read: BUY SHIT SO WE CAN SELL MORE SHIT) Oh, and feel free to request items you’d like to see in there, like Gashapon and trading figures and stuff that you might not be able to find easily otherwise, ’cause we got MAD hookups.

ANYWAY I’M DONE. READ THE DAMN CHAPTER.

Hey, at least it sounds better than Shounen Sunday!


See those tears? Those are MANLY tears.

PLEASE WAIT AT LEAST 24 HOURS BEFORE UPLOADING OUR RELEASES TO ONLINE READER SITES!

So with all the bleeding-heart shoujo we’ve been releasing lately, we turtles got together and figured we’d take some time off just to focus on the manlier side of the Turtle repertoire. We were originally going to release this all on Sunday, but it didn’t work out because… Well, we got held up by Mebius.

Shit always gets held up by Mebius.

Welcome to MANLY MONDAY.

First up, we have the second of three parts of chapter eight of Wild Arms: Flower Thieves. Maxi is moe, but his tears are MANLY. Edited by c0de_da1sy, typeset by DAPPER ZIPPY, and QC’d by Melfra and Clov3r.

Download Wild Arms, Flower Thieves chapter 8.2: Frame of Mind (part two)
Read Wild Arms, Flower Thieves chapter 8.2: Frame of Mind (part two) online


And speaking of moe, who doesn’t love manipulative maids? No, I’m not talking about Kohaku, but it’s been a long time since I was able to drop a Tsukihime joke, so just roll with it. That’s right, I’m talking about lost universe! And not just one, but TWO chapters! Jack, the main side-character featured in these two chapters, is a swell dude, don’t get me wrong… I JUST CAN’T STAND HIS SONG. This one goes out to our favorite Frenchie Gruic over at Tout sur Slayers, who just recently celebrated his birthday. Happy (REALLY REALLY REALLY) belated birthday, Gru! It’s not much, but this is for you. ♥♥♥ Chapters six and seven were edited by c0de_da1sy and QC’d by Melfra. Chapter six’s typesetting is brought to you by Zippy, and working on chapter 7’s typesetting is newcomer Kaori. FRESH MEAAAAT.

Download Lost Universe chapter 6 and 7: [PIANO MAN] (parts one and two)
Read Lost Universe chapter 6 and 7: [PIANO MAN] (parts one and two) online


Speaking, once again, of maids, here. Mebius Gear meets Maria, the maid! =D Releasing a chapter of Mebius is such a rarity at this point, half of me wants to call today “Mebius Monday” in honor of the series… Or maybe “Massacre Monday.” Either way, it’s been forever! The main holdup with this series is that I am literally the only person on staff who wants to work on it. Now, I’m fine with continuing it on my own, but ONLY if other people enjoy the series, too — so if you’re a fan of Mebius Gear, drop us a comment or two! We need to know you guys are still into the series, otherwise we might end up dropping it. QC’d by Melfra, and translated, typeset and edited by, uh… yours truly. This wraps up volume one, by the way, so you can find the full volume download by clicking the link below. Beware, though, that filesize is MASSIVE. (I think we’ll be sizing Mebius down to 1200 px instead of 1600px next volume… Too beaucoup! TOO BEAUCOUP!

Download Mebius Gear chapter 5: Another Power
Read Mebius Gear chapter 5: Another Power online

Phew. That concludes this installment of MANLY MONDAY. We may continue this in the future, and we might not. Kind of up in the air. Thoughts? Comments? Why, how convenient! There’s a comment button right down there… HO HO HO HO HO.

Well, that was interesting.


I might feel bad for Shizuma getting LAMBASTED all the time, but he’s a little bit of a dick, so fuck that.

As much as I heart my fluffy woobies, every now and again I feel the urge to pass some lovin’s over to ye ol’ gore porn side of the table, and really, when you think of Turtle FABULOUS Paradise and gore porn, what other title springs to mind but the hilarious (for all the wrong reasons) trainwreck of Mebius Gear?

BOOYEAH, CHAPTER FOUR, BABY. Belated? Bah. How can it be belated when we have no release schedule for it? Although maybe that should change… ANYWAY. Manning the typesetting helm this time around is Beowulf EpikWonder, with an ABSOLUTELY INSANE font selection. To the starboard bow, you’ll find our editor, rainstride the one-eyed (it’s said he pulled out the other one with his BARE HAND because it looked at him funny. Later we found out it was just the result of a bad trip.), and up in the crow’s nest you’ll find Melfra, making sure we don’t fuck it all up. Now read, and enjoy the fruits of our labor… and the fruitless labors of the cast of Mebius Gear. (Haaaw, I made a funny.)

Download Mebius Gear ch. 4 – Hidden Emotions

This’ll be up for online reading later tonight. Melly played with the reader code a while ago, and, uh, hahahaha. Yeah….